The Best and Worst Food Processors I've Owned

The best food processor I've ever owned, with a combination of features, low price, and usefulness, was an old Black and Decker Quick-n-Easy. The worst food processor I've ever owned, with a penchant for flying messes and overly uniform results (if I wanted uniform mush, I'd use a blender!), is a new Black and Decker Quick-n-Easy. Ironic, hunh? You can guess why I bought the second one. They both have feed spout, S-blade, grater, and slicer.

The good one has two rocker buttons: one button selects Hi or Lo speed, the other is Pulse up (momentary on while you hold it, then return to center for Off) and On down. Using 2-second bursts on Pulse with the S-blade was a great way to chop without blending into oblivion.

The bad one has a single dial: Pulse (still momentary with return to Off), I (Lo), and II (Hi). Notice that I can't pick a speed for Pulse on this model! Both I and II speeds are faster than any setting on the good old one. It also has a terrible idea, an exit chute to the side. The removable door for the exit chute doesn't seal. So let's just say your first use of it is to make a strawberry margarita sorbet from frozen strawberries. Remember that both speeds are too fast, so the slurry rapidly runs up the sides. And don't forget there's a door that doesn't seal ... whee, amazing flying mess across the kitchen! That was an unwelcome introduction to the new model.

Until I find a better replacement, I've been stuffing a washcloth in the exit chute behind the door. The flying mess loses momentum through the washcloth, so I can aim the dribble into the sink.

What not to buy again. I was surprised ol' B&D did so well and lasted so long (10 years, at least) the first time, but I'm disappointed this time that they had the design right and blew it.

Good Feature

I really like that I can link to a specific slide on Slideshare with the dead-simple approach of adding "slash-slidenumber" to the URL. Thanks folks, that's doing it right!

So if I happen, quite hypothetically you know, to want to send someone with a short attention to a slide show, I know he's not going to click through to the slide I want him to see. But since I can send a link to the exact slide, I can hope to capture just enough attention to get somewhere. For instance, I like this summary of teacher gift ideas.

Stencil Cutting: Fiskars Ultra ShapeXpress vs. Xacto

Cale lost his beloved "cheep cheep" (a yellow bird he made at the art museum's craft activity) last month, so I needed two circles of yellow construction paper right away to make a replacement! I found cheep cheep between the couch cushions before we actually had to make another, but I was on the circle-cutting goal right away. And of course once I found cheep-cheep, Cale was over it. Kids!

For my first round of circle-cutting, I started with my old Fiskars Ultra ShapeXpress that hasn't seen much action. I didn't have a circle stencil, so I had to improvise right away. I cut the large 4-inch (body) circle by moving the Ultra ShapeXpress around a toothpick. The circle was very nicely circular, but pretty large for my needs.

However, for the 1.5-inch bird head, I either needed a stencil that I didn't have, or another idea. (Using a positive template instead of a negative stencil would be A Bad Idea at that size, since I wouldn't be able to hold on to the template and move the shape cutter too -- its buffer zone is too big for that!) So for my next act, I used a medicine cup for my template and cut around it with a craft scalpel with a retractable blade (I need at least token safety to use it around my small kids who want to watch everything we do!).

I found the directness of the Xacto-style scalpel to be much more natural than the ShapeXpress. If you're really worried about your fingers, or your children's fingers, you might prefer the ShapeXpress. But I think mine is going back to gather dust.

Easy Robin (of Batman) Costume

Speaking of easy costumes, the one I pulled off last week was also easy. Karston went as Batman for Halloween, so I made a Robin costume for Daddy.

• matching green sweatshirt and sweatpants (I already had an oversized set)
• solid red teeshirt or muscle tank ($2.50 at craft store)
• adhesive-backed craft felt in yellow and in black (under $2 at craft store)
• for more authenticity, add a black eye mask (or those not-too-over-the-top bat glasses I saw in a costume flyer), and a black or yellow cape [we didn't]

Then I made the "R" logo for Robin. I traced a coffee mug on the black felt to cut out a black circle. Then I cut out a yellow R to fit inside the black circle. First the black circle went on the red tee, then the yellow R went on top of that. Voilà, one Robin logo! The "work" was cutting the sticky-back felt, since it's rather stiff. Other than that, this was thoroughly easy!

Yeah, Right

Not that I complain about unexpected checks in the mail, but I just got a refund check (OK, it was issued 10/20/2010 and I didn't check my snail mail for a while) from the local tertiary care hospital for an invoice dated 3/19/2009! If I were that slow paying my bills, I would be in arrears! That hospital is broken. (I base that statement on other events too, like receiving yet another bill for Karston's delivery just over a year after he was born! Too slow!) Sheesh.

Easy Mickey Mouse Costume

My kindergartener was so good on Saturday (we didn't go anywhere, he spent the day with his Legos, and we think he needed the time to decompress because he was especially angelic) that I prepared a special present for him: a Mickey Mouse costume! It was surprisingly simple, once I thought about it.

• hat with Mickey ears (we already had this, $15 souvenir from the Magic Kingdom)
• white child gloves ($2.50 from Oriental Trading Company); you may add those three lines with a permanent marker
• black long-sleeved shirt ($3.50 Garanimals)
• red pants ($3.50 Garanimals)
• yellow felt (under $1 per sheet at craft stores that sell by the sheet, and some are adhesive-backed already; I used Quilt Basting Spray to make my scrap piece of yellow felt be sticky)

Only the Mickey Mouse hat and the white gloves were "special" purchases; we had the other items. And the hat was a souvenir, not a special purchase for this costume.

You can also find puffy yellow Mickey slippers for "shoes" at the theme parks (and some costume stores) to be thorough, but my kids didn’t complain. The theme parks also have white puffy gloves with the classic three metacarpal stripes, but that also seemed overkill for my kids who prefer dexterity to authenticity.

I used this template:

Directions: Cut out two ovals (about 1.5” by 1.1”) of yellow felt. Attach to the front of the red pants, centered to either side below the waistband. Voilà, Mickey pants! Now dress your small child in Mickey hat, black shirt, white gloves, and these red pants.

Craftitunity

On The Simpsons, Homer uses the neologism crisitunity. I spent so much prep time gathering kid-friendly crafts for our trip to Atlantic Beach that I see craftitunity at every turn. The kids got "leaf buddies" last week, just colorful maple leaves with happy faces drawn on. Cale carried his around (for a couple days), and needed me to repair the stem with a little tape. The rest of that day was all Mommy fix my leaf buddy. With tape! I think the tape was very exciting.