First Month

Layette

For my July baby, clothing isn't an issue. Teeshirts are not only good for the cord stump, but also convenient later because they're easy to change. Sleep sacks are also easy, but my favorite for sleep is the SwaddleMe. Other outfits are cute, but less easy ...

Bibs aren't useful (yet), but hand towels that can later be made into towel bibs are great! I try to keep one under him most of the time (at least if he's on my lap or on my glider with me; baby furniture has washable covers and/or waterproof pads).

Nursing

Boppy is wonderful! I needed the extra cover a few times, too. Sure, you could use a regular pillow instead, but it's easier to walk and carry baby with Boppy because Boppy is less prone to shift. (I didn't try My Brest Friend or Pollywog, so I can't compare them.)

While I'm tethered to Boppy and baby, I like reading eBooks on my PDA, or using my laptop (with wireless networking, keyboard, and padless mouse).

Breast pads are helpful.

Sleeping

Sleeping? I wish! He was hungry about every two hours in the first month, but the SwaddleMe seemed to help him sleep longer periods at night. The Pack n Play with bassinet and changing station is perfect for one stop infant sleeping and changing care. I swaddled him in non-stretch receiving blankets during the day, hoping to make nighttime sleeping both different and better. (We also tried to keep him awake after dinner until our bedtime. Some nights it worked.) He always could kick off a swaddled blanket, but the velcro of the SwaddleMe was another matter.

Furniture

The standby, the glider-rocker with recline and ottoman, is very nice! It's not strictly necessary, but it's comfy, the rocking action helps put him to sleep, and I could doze lighhtly while reclined when nursing. The ottoman helps rocking and positioning (by changing knee height, I can raise his head slightly, fewer air gulps go down). I got a much better deal on an easy-to-clean leather glider at a mattress store than I saw at baby stores.

Some babies like rocking (mine!), some like vibration, and some neither. Don't invest heavily one way or another until you know. The swing (rocking) got us through several bad nights, but the bouncer (vibration) is just a chair. I have two friends with vibration-liking babies, so you'll just have to see first (or borrow, or get a selection).

Travel

Car seat, stroller, diaper bag; you know the drill. I pack the diaper bag (just a zippered bag I had) with diapers, wipes, changing pad, waterproof pad, cornstarch baby powder (never talc-based), empty plastic grocery bags, and a clean outfit (teeshirt and hat).

For walks around the neighborhood (or around the house, to calm him down), the Baby Bjorn has been wonderful! It doesn't hurt my back.

Total weight loss: down 4 pounds.

Books for new moms

These are the books I like so far about life with baby.

• What to Expect the First Year by Murkoff, Eisenberg, and Hathaway,
• Operating Instructions by Anne Lamott (it made me laugh and cry),
• The Core Program by Peggy Brill, and
• Baby Bargains by Denise and Alan Fields (again/still).

OK, so Brill isn't about babies, and Lamott won't teach you about babies, but both of those have been useful: one for light exercise and the other for laughter (something to read in short chunks while breastfeeding).

Books for Pregnancy

In retrospect, these are the books that I'm glad I read while pregnant:

• What to Expect When You're Expecting by Murkoff, Eisenberg, and Hathaway (even recommended to me by my aunt the OB as well as everyone else; make sure you have the latest edition),
• Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn: The Complete Guide by Simkin, Whalley, and Keppler,
• Pregnancy Fitness by Ginny Graves, and
• Baby Bargains by Denise and Alan Fields.

If you end up with morning sickness (I'm so sorry), try avoiding the foods with natural toxins (that don't affect adults but could affect embryos) mentioned in Pregnancy Sickness: Using Your Body's Natural Defenses to Protect Your Baby-To-Be by Margie Profet. My crude empirical evidence is that of the three women who had terrible morning sickness whom I know personally, this diet worked. See The Virtual Birth Center for a list of foods to avoid following Margie Profet's advice.

Third Trimester

Oh, my aching sciatica! That's how my third trimester started. If it hurts, ask your OB to refer you to a physical therapist! The single most helpful exercise for me was the modified wall sit. I press (flatten, neutral spine) my back into the wall with my thighs at about 30 degrees from the wall. Repeat as needed. The sciatica went away when I followed the right set of exercises. One such set (I'm only using the wall slide) is here.

Each day I say that I've never felt so stretched ... and then the next day comes. I think the shea and cocoa butter lotions I use do help, but that could be in my head (still helps!). My first trimester visitors of thirst and fatigue are back. This time when I drink water, I can feel my belly expand. And since there's tremendous growth, I assume that explains the desire to nap.

It's cruel irony, but my sleep patterns have already changed for the worse. I now measure how well I slept by the length of the times I stayed asleep. It's usually 90 minutes, but sometimes half that. One night I got two batches of three hours each (and then a sound two hours on the couch), and that felt heavenly!

Favorite food: grapes! and still eating half a grapefruit for breakfast as long as the citrus season holds out. (Still can't handle fat and salt.)

Almost done! Keep exercising, and get as much sleep as you can (both to reduce pain).

Total weight gain: up 16 pounds.

Why I like Dashboard better than Konfabulator

OK, I'm impressed! I just wrote my first Dashboard Widget in under an hour without really trying, with no special experience, just some HTML familiarity. And that made me realize that I like Dashboard (in Tiger, OS X 10.4) much better than Konfabulator: it's so much easier to write my own! Plus I haven't had any stability issues with Dashboard, and I did stop crashing after I removed Konfabulator from my desktop Mac (dual G4 MDD). So that's two reasons to like Dashboard over Konfabulator: easier, and no need to troubleshoot stability issues!

I don't think Dashboard is a rip-off either; see Daring Fireball. If you want to write your own widget, take a look at the basics and more detail from Apple.

Or you could just wing it, like I did, with this procedure:

1. Copy an existing widget, like /Developer/Examples/Dashboard/Sample Code/Blank Widget
2. Rename and edit BlankWidget.html; edit Info.plist, and version.plist
3. Replace Icon.png and possibly Default.png if called in (the new version of) BlankWidget.html
4. Rename and edit BlankWidget.css and BlankWidget.js if applicable (I skipped these)
5. If (the new version of) BlankWidget.html looks about right in Safari, give it a whirl in Dashboard!
6. Rename the folder to [Widget name].wdgt (only wdgt extension is important)
7. Move it to an "active" location, like ~/Library/Widgets

Peanuts

Here's an odd one for you. Ever since I got pregnant, especially after the morning sickness hurdle, I have had a difficult time with peanut butter. Normally, I like it. But lately, a little bit of peanut butter makes my stomach feel like it's not going to be very happy with me if I eat any more. Normally, I'd chalk this up to my own quirk.

However, out of the blue, a co-worker said his wife couldn't eat peanut products while pregnant and while breastfeeding, but his daughter doesn't have a peanut allergy. Like me, his wife didn't have a BAD reaction, just a clear indication that less is better. (They love Chick-Fil-A food that happens to be cooked in peanut oil. My pregnancy has told me in no uncertain terms to avoid as much fat and salt as possible, so I don't eat out in places like that. In fact, it's really hard to eat out. Can't take me anywhere! *grin*)

Second Trimester

The second trimester, since I was lucky enough that my morning sickness ended, was mostly smooth sailing as everyone says. I felt fine, I wasn't showing (as long as I didn't wear belly-tight clothes), and I could do what I wanted (although I got winded easily). The challenge here was to fight the fuzziness of "pregnancy brain." Since I just finished an engineering Ph.D., people think my brain works. Well, pregnancy trumps a degree, and I had to work hard to keep my brain as sharp as possible. It was tough, but the payoff is that it "sticks" and I'm pretty functional brain-wise. Still, I have been a better multi-tasker. I used to take on 4 different tasks at work, not more like 2 at a time. My co-worker Chuck says the other two threads are talking to the baby even if I don't know it.

In the second trimester, I noticed that I felt a whole lot better with light daily exercise. I did stretches, light free weights (I've never seen 5 pounds free weights change my arms in two weeks, a pregnancy bonus! I usually lift a lot more too), and (if not too tired) elliptical trainer. I was slower and needed more sleep, but I pluged away at it, and exercise is a priority. I recommend it!

Least favorite foods: anything with much fat (no fried food) or salt. Fat/grease upsets my stomach, and salt makes my chest feel tight. On the other hand, my blood pressure is fine and everyone says I look healthy. Fat and salt aren't much of a loss, although it's difficult to eat out.

Favorite food: half a grapefruit for breakfast!

You can fight pregnancy brain fuzziness, and I think it's worth it in the long run as well as the short term. Exercise is good, and goes well with feeling better.

Total weight gain: up 5 pounds.